im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
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maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
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My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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