Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
