Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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