New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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