i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
