remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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