My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
