you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
