I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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