p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
