Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
