I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
