Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
