I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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