i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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