1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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