Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize