Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
