Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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