Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He passed out mid-signature
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i think im in europe. pls send help
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
