I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
