Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
