Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
