I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
