I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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