Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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