I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Drake has all the answers
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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