It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
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dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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