buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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