hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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