oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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