i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
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THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
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I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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