i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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