So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
