i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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