I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize