do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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