Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
