there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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