I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize