Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
