i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
