I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
