That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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