How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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