Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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