I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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