dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
