thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.