that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
