perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank