We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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