She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
