My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
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