If that was your dad, he is hot
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
