we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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