Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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